Posted on by lgandre

A Year Ago, at Christmas (Part 1)

Woodstock, Vermont at Christmas

Could it really be that it was only one year ago? 

Julia opened the package and was surprised when she pulled out a porcelain heart ornament.  She studied the happy couple forever memorialized on its front.  Her own eyes greeted her.  They were bright and shining.  You couldn’t see Stuart’s eyes in that particular pose, but his strong arms were engulfing her and his gaze was directed to the glittering stone on her left hand.

She had picked out the ring, of course.  They had made payments on it for months; in fact, he had worked a remodel job on the side over Thanksgiving weekend so they could get it paid off in time.  Julia had had her heart set on a Christmas engagement from the time she was a little girl.  Clearly, there were many Hallmark movies involved.

She had picked the charming town of Woodstock, Vermont.  Well, Stuart had officially picked it, she had just planned and hinted and planned and suggested.  If a light dusting of snow could have been scheduled, she would have done that too.  But it turned out that she didn’t need to; God had sent it as if to show His blessing on that happy Christmas Eve moment.  What a perfect day that had been.

Perfect doesn’t mean all went as Julia planned, of course.  Just like a gemstone needs a few imperfections here and there to show it isn’t a fake, those tiny flaws are what gives an engagement character and turns a simple event into a story.   

Stuart and Julia’s perfect engagement had had one especially notable mishap.  When Julia had turned to see Stuart kneeling in front of the iconic covered bridge, she realized that as many times as she had planned and dreamed of this moment, she had never figured out exactly what to say.   She had picked the background.  She had coached the photographer on what angle to shoot from.  She had even chosen the time of day based on the lighting and cloud cover.  And yet, she had not figured out what to say.

“Yes” seemed like far too weak of a response.  Far too common and ordinary.  But, for lack of options, she had said it anyway.  And, when words continued to fail her, she had followed it with another “yes…yes…YES!”  Then, because the only word she could think of still didn’t seem to be enough (despite being repeated multiple times), she had flung herself at Stuart who was rising off the nearly numb knee that had been so bravely placed on the icy walk.  It wouldn’t have been a problem except that Stuart, who was not expecting her to try to jump into his arms, and who was still awkwardly trying to obtain his balance, had slid on the ice bringing them both down with a mighty splat.

Julia’s burgundy dress and white fur shawl had tangled and twisted in such a way that would have made getting up difficult even if the walk had not been slippery, but there was no real harm done.  So, when the two had finally found their land legs, and when the ring had been properly placed on Julia’s fourth finger, they were both laughing.  They laughed about it for days afterward…the big ”yes…yes…YES!”    And then the epic splat.

Stuart was such a good sport.  Never had Julia been more sure of herself than when she gave that “yes.”  He was a squared-away Army captain.  Quiet and confident, healthy and muscular. He was good with people—especially kids.  Best of all, he loved Jesus and he loved her—even with her all her OCD intensity.  Yes, Stuart had been worth the wait.  The long wait.  That part of Julia’s life hadn’t gone quite as planned; but at 31, she still felt that there was time…just enough time to make her dreams of motherhood come true…three or four times over.

Julia pulled out her phone to glance through the photos of that day again.  Perhaps she should have picked one for their Christmas card.  The engagement photos were more Christmasy; but a wedding photo had just seemed more appropriate.  The wedding had been on an equally glorious day in May—a day that had been picked out long before the December engagement. 

The couple had tied the knot in Florence, Italy with a handful of family and friends.  Stuart had a full three weeks of leave and they had made the most of it—visiting many of the European highlights.  Julia had scoured many a travel blog and read every review until their plans had been refined and polished down to where to eat breakfast and when to catch a train.  They had spent some time at Lake Como, the Dolomites, and Rome before flying over to Paris and finally London. 

It was a dream wedding and a dream honeymoon. By the time it was over, their bank accounts were drained to dust, but alas, they concluded it was worth it.  They were both young and strong and willing to work to build them up again.

Julia noticed the time and glanced out the window to see Stuart making his way up the driveway.  There was no snow tonight.  Just a bitter chill that seemed to linger day after day in this dark, lonely place. 

Stuart had a shopping bag which he perched on top of the plastic tub of ornaments that was sitting on the floor.

“I got your lights.”  He saw the ornament she was holding.  “Looks like you got the package from my Mom?  She said she sent something for you.” 

Julia wrinkled her nose the tiniest bit.  She should have known that ornament was from her mother-in-law.  Stuart’s Mom was…hard to describe.

Stuart must have seen the look on Julia’s face.  “She’s trying.”

Ah, that was the word.  “Trying.”  Stuart’s mom was always trying.  It seemed like she was always trying to worm her way into things.  If there was one good thing about the assignment at Fort Drum, in northern New York, it was that it was a world away from Stuart’s parents. 

Julia nodded and made her way over to the bag he had set on the tub of ornaments.  Last year, she had decorated the tree immediately after Thanksgiving.  She was in a fifth story apartment in Fayetteville then and she loved to look up each time she pulled into the complex and see a square section of golden lights shining down as if to say, “Welcome home!” and “Merry Christmas!”

Her apartment had been full of good smells and sounds as she and her roommate, Chandra, baked their way through two issues of Southern Living and one of Magnolia Home.  Even with the knowledge that she had a wedding dress to fit, she had gained 5 pounds last December alone.  And that was without the sourdough bread.  Oh, don’t get started thinking about that sourdough bread, she told herself.

“These aren’t the right lights,”  Julia observed looking into the bag.  “These are the really pasty white kind.  They’re too…too…sterile.  Like were trying to light a department store.”

Stuart didn’t respond.  Julia wasn’t sure if he hadn’t heard her or if he just didn’t care, so she continued.  “I like the ones with more of a gold tone.  You get more of a warm glow.”

“Okay.  I got you.”  Stuart’s response was a bit testy.  Julia wasn’t quite sure why.  She was just trying to explain why they were the wrong lights.  She avoided reminding him that she had been specific as to what kind she wanted before he had left.

He did seem to understand, though, because after a moment, he replied, “that’s all they had left.  I went three places looking for the kind you wanted.”

“That’s why I wanted to order them.”  She reminded him.  “So you didn’t have to do all the running around.”

Stuart seemed even more annoyed.  “Look, exchange them if you must.  I wanted to have them tonight because I have to work late the rest of the week.  If we don’t decorate that tree tonight, we shouldn’t bother.”

Julia stopped.  Probably not a good idea to pick an argument with a cold, hungry man.  To his point, it was already December 21st.  And yes, he had told her he had a lot to get done so he could take off some time at Christmas.

She had already set the table and had been doing her best to keep dinner warm.  She quickly started pulling the pots off the stove.  Admittedly, it was nothing like Chandra used to make.  Last year, Stuart used to come join them for dinner most nights and a few Southern Living recipes may have made an appearance in those meals as well.  Julia loved to decorate almost as much as Chandra loved to cook and the result was some tables that looked like they belonged in a magazine of their own.  Those were some happy winter nights.  

Stuart’s mind must have been elsewhere too, because the silence hung between them for several minutes until they had said grace. 

“How was your day?”  Julia finally ventured.

“Fine,”  Stuart replied.  And then, as if sorry for his shortness, “How are you feeling?”

Julia felt a few tears welling up in her eyes; but she tried not to let them take over.  Stuart dropped his eyes down to his plate.

Silence again.

How much things can change in one short year.

Check back tomorrow for Part 2.

————————————————————————–

Want more? Find last year’s Christmas story here.

Posted on by lgandre · 1 Comment

Christmas Alone – 4

Part Four – A Celebration of Christ

As they were nearing home, Patrick was getting hungry. He had an idea. “What if we go to Dennys for lunch? It’s not like your cooking, of course, but there’s someone there you should meet.” 

“Sure… actually, do you mind if we swing by and get Gram? She’s probably through most of the ritual mourning and tired of being home by herself.” 

Betsy was kind. He liked that about her. So even though he didn’t love the idea, he agreed. It was Christmas after all. No one should be alone. That was the whole reason he was going to Dennys to begin with. 

“She was such a good cat.” Gram said as she got in the car. Not ‘hello’ or ‘how are you’ or even, ‘Merry Christmas.’ 

“I’m sorry, Mrs Little.” 

He meant it. Maybe Betsy was rubbing off on him. 

“I thought you should meet Chandra. She’s the lady that tried to help save Sunshine and got us connected with Dr. Snyder.”

Patrick wondered for a second if he shouldn’t have said that. Mrs. Little might be angry at the vet for not saving her cat. But she sniffed a few times and nodded. 

To their surprise, Dennys was a madhouse on Christmas Day. The place was loud and the hostess informed them there would be a 20-25 minute wait. The vestibule was packed and any time the door opened, a cold blast of air numbed the senses. 

Two young boys sat on a waiting bench. One was engrossed in an iPad while the other was driving a remote control car between the customers. They had clearly been there a while. 

Patrick was questioning whether his idea was a good one when he caught a glimpse of Chandra, carrying two trays of food and nearly tripping over a tray stand that was draped over her arm. 

He waved at her and she nodded recognition but the distraction cost her. Right then, the boy with the remote control car sent it racing directly in front of her. She swerved to miss it and in the process, one tray tipped, sliding plates of pancakes and chicken fingers onto a nearby table. Not the reception he had anticipated.

The car was not seen by the customers; but they were clearly not pleased.

“Rory!” Chandra snapped. Then she turned around and started to apologize to the family whose food had just been dumped on their table. “I’m so, so sorry.”

The manager quickly appeared on the scene and said some things to Chandra that Patrick couldn’t hear. Chandra started to walk toward the vestibule and Patrick thought she was coming to say hello.

“Hi Chandra. I wanted to tell you thank you for your help and try to give you some company today. But it looks like you’re pretty overrun. Merry Christmas to you, though.”

“It’s not a Merry Christmas.” Tears were welling in her eyes. “I’m going to lose my mind. My kids’ dad and his wife and her kids all got a surprise trip to Disney from her parents.  They flew out this morning. My parents had left town a few hours before that. Of course, I couldn’t take off, we’re short staffed as it is.  My neighbor who sometimes watches the boys is sick. So my boys have spent their Christmas sitting here.” She gestured toward the two boys on the bench. “This place has been busier than the mall on Black Friday.” She looked desperate. 

The mall! Patrick had another idea. 

“This is my friend Betsy and her grandma. We’re just kicking around this afternoon. Why don’t you let us take them to the mall? We’ll let them ice skate or watch a Christmas movie or something.”

Chandra turned around toward the scene she’d just left. The manager was trying to smooth things over while the bus boy cleaned up the mess. Then she surveyed the three of them. 

“Well…yes. I-I think I have to say ‘yes.’  Let me just get your number real quick. We’ll connect as soon as I get off.”

“We’ll take good care of them, I promise.”

Chandra hurriedly introduced her boys, Rory and David before bustling back to work. 

“I hope this is okay?” He turned to Betsy and Gram. “I guess I should have asked you first.”

“Goodness no!” Mrs. Little was quick to answer. “You don’t have to ask us. Kicking around with these boys at the mall sounds like great fun, doesn’t it Betsy? I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve ice skated.”

Patrick tried to picture Mrs. Little in ice skates, but he could not. Regardless, her mood seemed to have improved considerably.

She kept talking as Betsy helped the boys get their coats on and pack away their toys. The gaggle was soon stuffing itself in the Tesla. Mrs. Little had to sit up front while Betsy made the boys comfortable in the back. They seemed instantly at ease with her and glad to be getting out of Denny’s. 

“Sure, you can have one.” She heard Betsy say and he looked in the rear view mirror. The boys were helping themself to the cookies Mrs. Little had given him on Sunday. Evidently, the box had been found. 

“What a strange Christmas.” Betsy’s words from earlier echoed in his head as they found a parking space and slushed their way inside. They satisfied their hunger at a soft pretzel stand next to the rink. 

“Thank you.” David was polite enough to say.

“Is this better than sitting at Denny’s?” Betsy asked, fishing for a smile. David shrugged, but Rory nodded. “I hate that place. It smells funny.”

Soon, Betsy was lacing up skates and the four of them were bobbing their way around the oval while Mrs. Little looked on, sipping a cup of hot tea and smiling. 

It was a strange Christmas. Patrick had not opened a single gift. He had not had any good meals. He had not spent even one minute with family. 

And yet… and yet it was a good Christmas just the same. It was made up of the simple love and kindness that all good Christmases should be made of. 

Christmas is, after all, a celebration of Christ. What could be a more fitting celebration of Christ than meeting the needs of the prisoner, the widow, and the fatherless? 

He thought back to that moment a few short days ago when he had stood staring at that wall of paint chips. He had felt so alone then… so different from the way he felt now. Reagan, David, Rory, Betsy, Mrs. Little, and Chandra. Even a short time could turn new faces into friends when he chose to think of others instead of himself. 

Patrick’s phone rang and he tried to answer it. “Hi Mom… Yes… in fact… Can I call you back? It’s loud in here and… No, I’m not painting. I’m with some friends… I’ll tell you about it later. Love you. Merry Christmas to you too.”

When the Tesla pulled back up to Mrs. Little’s home, the lights were coming on. Patrick was pretty sure there were more fake snowmen in her yard than there were real ones in all of Colorado but he didn’t care. He tried to think of a reason to stay, but he knew Marley really needed to be let out. Sometimes it stinks to own a dog. 

“Thanks for a great day!” Betsy said as she jumped out. And then, “You know, we never did paint that bathroom.” 

“You promised to help.”

She nodded. A tiny gleam in her eye. “I’m looking forward to it.” 

“Me too.” He agreed. 

And he meant it.

When he got through the door of his own home, Marley was howling. Patrick didn’t blame the little guy. 

“Okay, okay. Don’t worry, I’m taking you on a walk,” he said while clipping on his leash. Marley wasted no time tugging him toward the door.   

As soon as the cold blast hit, Marley turned around as if to give Patrick a reproving look.  “Hey, don’t give me that. Even Mom said she hoped I wouldn’t spend Christmas alone.”

Marley didn’t stop raising a fuss until they reached the hedge and he had relived himself.

“Feel better now?”  Patrick asked his furry friend. Marley immediately busied himself with sniffing into the hedge.  “C’mon, really?  It’s 25 degrees out here!” Patrick continued his monologue aimed at Marley, but Marley was intent on something and not to be dissuaded.

Marley started barking again and Patrick leaned over to see what had him worked up.  

“What in the…?”

Tucked in a small hole in the hedge was a pathetic looking white cat. There was no collar. It was thin and shivering.  Even with Marley’s excited barking, it didn’t try to run. 

Patrick’s mind processed quickly. He didn’t recognize this as one of the neighborhood cats. He couldn’t leave it outside in this cold. He couldn’t expect it to get along with Marley. A plan was forming.

Thirty minutes later, Mrs Little’s phone gave a ding. She had a text from a blocked number. 

“Your Christmas present is on the porch.” Is all the text said. 

Betsy opened the front door and returned carrying a large box. A cat head soon popped up over the side—a warm bath and can of tuna had done wonders.  She had a tag around her neck that read, “My name is Snowflake. But you can call me Sunshine if you want. Merry Christmas.”

“That Patrick!” Mrs Little said, without missing a beat. “That was so thoughtful!  I knew I picked a good one for you.”

“Wait…what?  Gram, what are you talking about?”

“Well, you know. Some things need a little encouragement.”

“Gram!”  Some pieces were falling into place. “Did you…did you feed Sunshine that chocolate on purpose to get Patrick over here?  I thought that story seemed really strange.” 

“You might say I made the cookies easily accessible.”  She replied.  “You said it yourself, Sunshine needed to be put down.  And I needed a way to get you two together. Patrick wasn’t eating my cooking.”

“Gram!  You beast!”

“I didn’t actually plan to take her to the vet, just keep Patrick here with me somehow until you got home; but he got it all set up. It worked out in the end though.  He’s happy, you’re happy, and even Sunshine is happy.”

“Gram!  Let’s not get ahead of ourselves! All we have is a vague plan to paint a bathroom. That’s it.”

“Nonsense.  In fact, he couldn’t have gotten far. Call that boy and tell him you’re cooking.  Christmas is a celebration of Christ. We’re not done celebrating just yet!”

“Gram, you’re a mess!”  Betsy protested but she reached for her phone nonetheless.

And that is the story of Patrick’s Christmas—a wall of paint chips, a cat, a dog—a simple day filled with kindness. 

And that is why, when he pulled into his driveway the final time, he said to Marley,

“This was the best kind of Christmas.”

And he meant it. 

Posted on by lgandre

Christmas Alone – 3

Part 3 – A Strange Christmas

“Patrick?” Betsy’s pleasant voice greeted him over the phone. “Hey, I hope it’s okay that Gram gave me your number. I just wanted to let you know that we won’t need a cat sitter today after all.”

“Oh…okay.”

“Turns out Sunshine wasn’t able to survive the stomach pumping. So… yeah… I do feel a little bad about giving Gram a hard time yesterday. Sunshine was as stiff as a board this morning.”

“Oh… wow… I’m so sorry…”

“Yeah… me too. Anyway, I think Gram is going to stay home and mourn for the cat so I’m just going to drive down and back myself. I should still be back around lunch and I’ll help with the bathroom if you haven’t finished.” 

“Okay, yeah… that’s fine.” Patrick was struggling to find words to say. “You know, if you wanted, I could drive down there with you.   I mean, to give you some company for the drive…if you wanted…”

“Are you sure? I mean… I’ll come help paint either way.”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Patrick didn’t want to admit that he didn’t really feel confident starting the project without her. And truthfully, he actually liked the thought of getting to know Betsy better… even if it meant a trip to prison. 

Maybe Betsy was anxious to see Reagan. Maybe she was in a hurry to get gone before Gram changed her mind and decided to join them. Either way, she quickly jumped in as soon as Patrick pulled up to the curb. Her hands were empty except for two cups of hot chocolate. She gave one to him. 

The conversation flowed easily as they headed south. The roads were clear and relatively empty. Patrick didn’t ask about Reagan, but he did slowly learn other pieces of Betsy’s story.  Betsy was the oldest of the family and Reagan was the youngest. She didn’t say, but Patrick guessed Betsy was mid to late twenties.  Reagan was the youngest.

Their dad had worked mostly in offshore drilling so the family had lived all over the world and traveled extensively in between the frequent moves. 

“I didn’t know my times tables but I went in every Egyptian pyramid and snorkeled in the Mediterranean. I lived on three different continents before I knew who Abraham Lincoln was. Mom called it homeschool, but it probably bordered on truancy.”

“I bet you learned a lot though.”

“You know, we did in our own way. And we were a close family. Mom was a good mom— I didn’t mean to give you a different impression but I guess she is what you’d call a ‘free spirit.’ The closet she came to cooking was pouring batter in a hotel waffle iron. She couldn’t be bothered with things like housework.”

“I guess if your dad was in the oil and gas industry, she didn’t have to?”

“Well, I didn’t understand it at the time, but basically it was feast or famine. Dad would make a lot of money while he worked on a specific job. But sooner or later, the contract would run out and he’d get laid off. We usually ended up back in Denver living with Gram and Grampa for a few weeks or months until he got another job. Then we’d be off again.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Yes… I guess so. I didn’t know any different. I enjoyed traveling enough that I kept it up during college and even taught English in China for a few years after. I’m kinda burned out on it now though. Most of the family is in Texas, but Denver is the closest thing I have to meaningful roots.”

“Is that what brought you back to Colorado?” 

“Well… yes and no… I just came here in August when… well… Reagan got in trouble.” Her voice kinda faded out and Patrick surmised she didn’t really want to talk about that. “But I have a lot of happy memories in Denver, so it might not be a bad place to settle down. Besides, I think it’s good for Gram to have someone nearby. Hard to tell if my family will stay in Dallas. Dad’s still in the oil and gas industry… and I guess he always will be. I don’t think he can afford to retire.”

When they arrived at the detention facility, Betsy took over. She knew where to park, where to enter. “Don’t bring anything.” She instructed. “I’d just take your ID out of your wallet and leave the rest.” She did the same. 

Betsy had clearly done this many times. She smiled at the detention officers and called many of them by name as they went through the reception and screening. She seemed confident, but Patrick saw her eyes well up once or twice. He pretended not to notice. 

Reagan was a copy and paste of Betsy. Slightly younger and taller, but he wore her same cheerful expression despite the ugly prison garb. He gave Betsy a hug and then turned to Patrick.

“This is a friend of Gram’s.” Betsy introduced him. It led into the story of Sunshine’s sickness and sudden death. 

“Good grief, how long has that cat been alive?” Regan asked. “I don’t know if I even remember life before that cat. In fact, I’d probably believe you if you told me BC stood for ‘before cat’.”

“We may be confusing her and cats before her, but Gram definitely always had a cat when we came to visit. It always seemed weird and nasty to us because in most of the world we had been, animals don’t live in people’s houses.”

“Remember when we were in Egypt and I begged Mom to let me keep that puppy I found?”

“The one that eventually bit you?”

“Yeah… that was the only time I remember her taking me to a clinic of any kind.”

“This Christmas will probably go down in Little family history as the year Sunshine had her sunset.”

“Like the famous Christmas of the suitcase!” The two of them laughed together and Betsy explained. “We didn’t typically get gifts for Christmas.” She began. 

“Other than our stockings, which always had candy and a toothbrush.” Reagan interjected. 

“Right. We didn’t have a lot of stuff period because we moved so much. Anyway, when we traveled, Mom’s rule was, you pack it, you carry it. We each had a tattered backpack. We would go for weeks on just what we could carry in our backpacks. No lie.”

Reagan nodded agreement. 

“One fall she had us take a particularly grueling trip that went through like twelve European countries. We were going through all these picturesque little towns climbing castles and bell towers— stuff that might have been fun except that we were all carrying twenty pounds of stuff on our backs everywhere we went.”

“Mom had us in a different place every night so there was nowhere to leave our luggage. Those packs sure got heavy by the end of the day.”

“We whined and complained so much that evidently we wore her down. That Christmas, there were three big boxes wrapped and waiting for us on Christmas. We all got a small rollerboard suitcase.”

“We thought we had won the lottery.” Reagan reminisced. “Suitcases on wheels! I remember mine was blue, yours was green, and Sophie’s was pink.”

“The worst part though was Mom never really let us use them.” Betsy mused. 

“You can’t take rollerboard suitcases up bell towers!”

“Remember how frustrated she used to get paying a Euro every time we needed to use the WC?”

“Yeah, she used to try to get us kids in for free.” They both laughed. “When they wouldn’t, she’d tell us to hold it… ugh. That was miserable.”

The conversation wandered a little until someone gave them a signal that they had five minutes left. Patrick excused himself thinking the two of them might want a few minutes alone. “I’ll get the car warmed up.” He offered, and no one argued. 

When Betsy came out to the car, it was clear she had been crying. He didn’t know what to say, so he turned on the radio and the two listened to Christmas music in silence as they headed back toward Denver. 

“I hate goodbyes.” She finally said as her sole explanation.  It was quiet again until she mused, “Such a strange Christmas.  Thanks for coming with me though. Reagan’s world is pretty small right now. I think it was fun to see a new face. He said you should come again sometime.”

“I’d be glad to.” Patrick said. And he meant it. 

(fourth and final installment coming soon!)

Posted on by lgandre

Christmas Alone – 2

Part Two – A Cat Named Sunshine

Christmas Eve brought more frigid weather. There was no fresh snow in the forecast, so all indicators were that it was going to be a gray Christmas. Occasionally, a car would slush by out front, but for the most part, all was still. 

Patrick turned on the TV. He tried to get lost in music. He scrolled Instagram. It definitely did not help to see what everyone else was doing today. 

He tried to call his dad, but Mom answered.

“Patrick!  We miss you, honey.  What are you up to?”

“Projects around the house.”  Patrick tried not to sound as lonely as he felt.

“I hate it that you’re there alone. What are you doing tomorrow. Will you be with Ben?”

“No. His in-laws are in town. What’s Dad up to?”

“He and Jake are out smoking pork butt for dinner tonight. I’ll tell him you called.  Christy is making her famous cheesecake.  I’m about to take the boys to the mall. They want to get something for their mom.

His family felt very far away. 

“I sure hope you find someone to spend Christmas with.”

Patrick mumbled some reply and the two said their goodbyes. The talk about food though was making Patrick hungry. Maybe even a bit hangry. 

He surveyed his food options. He could defrost a pound of ground beef and make himself a burger or he could open a can of soup. Not exactly smoked pork butt and cheesecake. He glanced at the paint can. He would start… soon… just as soon as he could find something decent to eat. 

He hopped in his car and started to drive. Not many places were open for lunch on Christmas Eve. And there were even fewer in which he would be seen by himself on such a day. He soon passed the mall which was heavily decorated for the occasion. Signs boasted an indoor ice skating rink, movie theater, and last minute shopping. If his family were here, they could have passed a happy afternoon just puttering through; but by himself, it didn’t seem worth the effort to find parking. 

“Dennys it is,” He grumbled, eyeing the “Open” sign glowing in the window. It was nearly 2:00 p.m. and he felt the need to settle on something.

A thin girl with a frizzy braid came to the table. It was purple. At least some of it was. A string of earrings went up her ear lobe. She had long, gaudy nails. Patrick wasn’t sure exactly what color you would call them. Obviously fake eyelashes curled around her eyes. The saddest part was that she probably would have been a pretty girl if she wasn’t trying so hard. “Chandra” was printed on her name tag. 

“Are you just passing through?” She asked, attempting small talk. The room was fairly empty so she was probably bored. 

“No, I live here.”

“Have any plans for Christmas?” She tried again. As if eating alone at Dennys did not make it obvious his calendar had a lot of space on it. 

“Well, I’m going to paint a bathroom. Does that count?”

She gave a quick laugh. “I guess that beats what I got. My kids are all with my Ex. I live with my parents, but my dad is working today and tomorrow they leave for a cruise. So I’m just waiting tables through the holidays for extra cash.”

“I’m sorry.” He felt like something more profound or encouraging was in order, but he couldn’t really think of anything. 

“I’m sorry you have to paint a bathroom.”

“It’s okay.” Patrick didn’t want to sound like a charity case. “I’ll take the meatloaf and mashed potatoes.” He said it quickly to change the subject. 

Patrick was further saved from small talk by the ringing of his phone. He quickly answered it.

“Is this Patrick?”

“Yes?”

“Patrick. This is Mrs. Little.”

“Oh, hello Mrs. Little.” Patrick tried to hide his disappointment. He had no idea how she got his phone number and was pretty sure he wasn’t glad.

“Patrick, glad I got you. I hope you are having a good Christmas Eve!”

“You too. Uh, thanks for the goodies by the way.” He added, hoping she would not ask how he liked the baked goods. He could not honestly remember what he had done with them after he got in the car yesterday. 

“Patrick…I’m so sorry to ask you at this last minute. I just couldn’t think of anyone else. My cat—did you know I have a cat?”

“No ma’am.”

“My cat got into my kitchen this morning and I think she ate a couple chocolate cookies.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Little.”

“I’m really worried about her. She’s acting strange. I feel like I need to take her to the vet. I think she’s having a seizure.” Her voice wavered and Patrick could tell she was close to crying. 

“I…see.” Patrick knew what was coming next and he was wracking his brain trying to come up with a good excuse. 

“I hate to ask you…do you have plans this afternoon? You know I don’t drive…”

“Uh…” Patrick was not eager to get involved. “I guess we should check around and see if the vet is open… I mean… and maybe I could do some quick research and see the effect of chocolate… I… I’ve never heard of chocolate being bad for cats…” His voice faded out. 

As Patrick was feebly trying to find a gracious way to avoid spending Christmas Eve driving around town looking for an open vet, Chandra came up behind him.

“I don’t mean to eavesdrop.” She started. “But chocolate is toxic for cats. if you need a vet, I’ll call my dad for you. He is a vet and his clinic is not far from here. I’m sure I can get you in.”

“Uh, okay…” It seemed there was no escaping this. 

“I hate to see a cat suffer. I’ll ask the kitchen to pack your food to go.”

So much for his quiet lunch. Patrick got Mrs. Little’s address while Chandra headed back to the kitchen for food. When she emerged, she had a bag in one hand. 

“It’s all settled! I just called Maisy, that’s the front desk lady. They’re expecting you. Here is a card with the address. And here’s your food. I put utensils in there for you.”

Patrick tried not to let his aggravation show. Chandra was clearly trying to help. But the process of driving an old lady and a sick cat around town made painting a bathroom quite appealing.  Unfortunately, it seemed he had no choice. 

The dramatic exterior decorations of Mrs. Little’s house seemed to fit her and her big squishy hugs. Lights, tinsel wrapped bushes, and blow up Christmas decorations swallowed the tiny yard and threatened to burn the neighborhood down. 

He stuffed the last of his lunch down and was about to hop out of the car when the front door opened and Mrs. Little came tottering out struggling to carry a softshell carry case. 

He sighed to himself and then jumped out to help. 

“Thank you, Patrick. Thank you so much. Sunshine is so sick. I really didn’t know who to call or what to do. Anyone else I could think of would be busy with family on Christmas Eve. Thank you for doing this!” She reached out to give Patrick a big hug. 

“Let me help you with that…” he reached out to grab the cat, but his escape and evasion plan didn’t work. She was almost crying but that didn’t stop her from talking or from engulfing him in her vice grip. He finally stopped resisting for a second before pushing back. “We’d better hurry. They’re expecting us at the vet.” 

At least there was hope of getting this over quickly. 

Two and a half hours later, as Patrick and Mrs. Little pulled back up to the heavily decorated home, he was surprised to see a small black Mazda in the driveway.

“Oh, Betsy’s home!” Mrs. Little seemed to light up a bit. I’m glad. That girl works so hard. She needs some rest this evening.”

“I’ll carry the cat in for you.” Patrick was thankful the ordeal was almost over. Sunshine had needed her little cat stomach pumped. They had told them to keep a close eye on her for the next 48 hours or so, but for now, she seemed to be sleeping quietly in her carrier. Maybe thanks to being doped up, Patrick wasn’t sure. 

The inside of the house was similar to the outside. Every flat surface was covered—both vertical and horizontal.   Cheap figurines, faded prints, paper garlands, and plastic bows seemed to be the decor of choice.  It was as if she had robbed the dollar store. 

Except one thing. 

When he saw the glistening Christmas tree, he stood and just stared for a second. 

He was no decorator by any stretch, but even his untrained eye could see that it was beautiful. It was a real tree with a simple, tasteful scattering of glass and velvet bulbs in muted tones. Elegant white lights gave them a radiant glow. A garland of brass bells tied it all together and at the top there was a spray of white and gold poinsettias that complemented the scattered bulbs. It looked like it belonged in a fancy hotel lobby. 

Mrs. Little must have seen him eyeing the tree. “Betsy did that. Isn’t it lovely? Sunshine got into my box of Christmas ornaments and got sick…it was a gross mess. I didn’t think we’d have a tree this year, but Betsy went out and bought those to cheer me up. She gets a discount of course on anything she buys at Home Depot…Betsy! “We have company.”

Betsy!? Home Depot?

Patrick connected the name with the girl he had met the day before at the paint department. As she entered the room, he was glad Mrs. Little had tipped him off because she didn’t look anything like he remembered. She was wearing white jeans and an olive green cabled sweater which somehow made her look a little taller and thinner. She was still wearing an apron—this time with a plaid print. Her curly hair was in a soft bun and she had a spoon in one hand.

“Oh good!…Oh, hi!” She recognized Patrick instantly. “How did the bathroom turn out?”

“Well…”

“He took me and Sunshine to the vet this afternoon.” Mrs. Little interrupted. 

“I see… I got your message and managed to get off a little early but when I got home and you weren’t here, I figured you found another ride and I started dinner. It’s almost ready.”

“Patrick, why don’t you stay and eat with us?”

“Yes, please do! We have plenty.”

Patrick would have declined, but frankly, it smelled delicious and the meatloaf he had stuffed down the hatch in the car hadn’t really satisfied. Besides that, he could see past Betsy into the kitchen and it was a bright clean respite from the rest of the cluttered house. 

Another plate was added to the table that had been cleared of the clutter disease infecting all the other surfaces. Hot dishes started arriving. Betsy had made a chicken piccata with fettuccine. Cheesy garlic bread.  Grilled asparagus. Caesar salad. 

The taste did justice to the smell in every way. And the last time Betsy emerged from the kitchen, she had small ramekins with chocolate soufflé—hot from the oven with a small dusting of powdered sugar on top. 

“This is amazing!” Patrick said. And he meant it. 

“Thank you!” Betsy glowed. “I love cooking!” She laughed. “In fact, sometimes I feel like I sell paint to support my cooking habit!”

“She got the baking gene from me.” Mrs. Little chimed in, vying for some of the credit. 

“But I think the rest of the credit rightfully goes to the Food Network.” Betsy retorted. “Mom raised us on yogurt and granola bars. I was so fascinated to see people actually applying heat to food and using knives, pots, and spices!”

She changed the subject back to baking. “It’s true, Gram was always the baker of the family. We baked together any time we came. Even now, we have to negotiate for time in the kitchen during the holidays.”

The conversation turned into the happy retelling of a Home Depot employee Christmas party where everyone was challenged to bring a dessert representing their department. Betsy had found little party favor paint cans and filled them with different colors of pudding—vanilla, chocolate, raspberry, and pistachio. 

She had also given a friend in flooring the idea of square sugar cookies with edible transfers on them that looked like an elaborate tile backsplash. Someone in lumber had brought a gingerbread house. 

Betsy’s whole face lit up as she explained the entry that really won the day. “Someone in lawn and garden brought a sheet cake that they had decorated with a layout of the whole department. It was amazing.It had little miniature trees and plants, a pile of little edible rocks, mulch, the whole deal.”

Patrick actually enjoyed listening to the pratter. The conversation soon turned though as Betsy asked, “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow… I’m actually going to try to paint that bathroom.”

“Betsy should help you. She doesn’t just sell paint. She’s a good painter.”

“Well, wish I could.” Betsy mused. “But I’ll be going to Colorado Springs. That will take a good chunk of the day.”

“What time are you leaving?” Mrs. Little asked. “I don’t want you to have to go by yourself, I’ll go with you.”

“But what about Sunshine, Gram? Didn’t you say you have to closely monitor her for the next few days?”

“I’ll just bring her along.”

“And leave her in the car, Gram? It’s supposed to be in the 20s tomorrow.”

“Maybe I can find a warm place to leave her.”

“And what if she isn’t feeling well, Gram? Do you really want to drive to Colorado Springs and back with a sick cat?”

As she talked, Patrick’s respect for Betsy grew. She had opinions, but her tones were thoughtful and not disrespectful. 

And just like that, Patrick heard himself say, “I can drive you both. The Tesla has a pet mode and it can keep a cat warm… or I can stay in the car with her.”

A cat?

Had Patrick really just offered to drive three hours to Colorado Springs and back to spend Christmas with an old lady, her granddaughter, and her sick cat? He didnt even know where they were going or why. 

“That’s kind of you, but…” Betsy started to reply. 

“That’s a great idea!” Mrs. Little jumped at the suggestion. “That would be so nice.”

“Gram, I just have this image in my mind of sick Sunshine vomiting in Patrick’s Tesla… and what if she dies, Gram? Are we going to drive around Colorado on Christmas with a dead cat in the back seat?”

Something about the whole scenario struck Patrick as funny and when Betsy let out a little laugh, he couldn’t help joining in. 

“Betsy!” Mrs. Little was appalled at the suggestion but the laughing was contagious. She let out a chuckle or two before acting offended and huffing over to check on the slumbering feline. 

Betsy got up to clear the dishes and Patrick started to help. “I should feel bad about what I said but honestly…” She laughed again quietly, “I feel bad for that cat. It has had at least eighteen lives. I’m pretty sure it’s blind, deaf, diabetic, anemic, arthritic, and…” Betsy had to pause to think, “going bald!” 

“I heard that!” Mrs. Little snipped from across the room. “You can add hurt feelings to her list of hurts. How would you like it if someone talked about you that way?”

“I’d be too dead to care, Gram. You know that the vet is keeping Sunshine alive because you’re financing his retirement. You spend more on that cat than you do yourself!”

“This was a different vet, Betsy!” Mrs. Little was not fazed by her granddaughter’s opinions and Betsy let it go, chuckling to herself while she made one final plea, “At least let the poor thing rest on Christmas!”

Betsy disappeared into the kitchen with an armload of dishes. Mrs. Little made it a point to hurry over to him. “Betsy’s just embarrassed because she’s going to Colorado Springs to visit her brother tomorrow in the detention center.”

Patrick was so surprised he didn’t know what to say. 

“I heard that!” Betsy’s voice came from the kitchen, mimicking her grandmother’s earlier retort. She appeared back in the doorway. She still hadn’t lost her good nature although the awkwardness of the situation wasn’t lost on her. 

“I’m not embarrassed of Reagan.” She said simply. “And if Patrick wants to come, he’s welcome, of course. I’m sure Reagan would enjoy meeting him. But I think Patrick volunteered to be kind without understanding what he was actually offering.”

“No one should be alone on Christmas. Not you. Not me. Not Patrick.” Mrs. Little retorted. “We should all go together.”

“Well, Gram,” Betsy’s tone was still respectful, “some people might rather be home alone than going to prison to see someone they don’t know with the paint lady, her grandma, and a sick cat. Just sayin’.” And she disappeared again. 

In the end, it was decided that Gram and Betsy would go to Colorado Springs in the morning and Patrick would stay to watch the cat. When they got back, Betsy would come over and help Patrick paint his bathroom. Perhaps Patrick’s Christmas paint fairy dream really would come true.

The drive home that night seemed so different from the one he had made two days before. He was very intrigued by Betsy and could not help trying to put the puzzle pieces together. How did a quality girl like her come from a granola bar eating mom and a high-maintenance grandma? And why was her brother in jail? He wished she had told a little more of her story. But for today, it had been fun just to have a good meal and a pleasant conversation. And perhaps, tomorrow, there was hope to see her again… and paint a bathroom. 

Posted on by lgandre

Christmas Alone

Part One – Home for the Holidays

The party promised to continue for some time, but strangely, Patrick had the irresistible urge to sneak off and head home. He didn’t feel much like celebrating. 

He noticed Ben, the other “Best Man” collecting his wife and their flower girl daughter. They were headed for their car as well. 

The deed was done. Jeremy was married at last and Patrick’s face muscles were exhausted from the 2,000 photos he’d been subjected to. 

He waved at Ben before jumping in his Tesla and peeling out of the hotel parking lot. Ben had an obvious excuse for leaving early—two small kids and another on the way.

If Patrick needed an excuse to leave early, Marley was his fall back. Marley had been in a crate since 10:00 a.m. Approximately 2,000 pictures ago. Maybe even 12,000. 

Chances were, he didn’t need an excuse. No one would really notice or care.

The drive home was depressing. This event wasn’t a surprise; it had been on the calendar for a year. But now that both of his best friends were married, Patrick felt especially hollow. 

The red glow of the stoplight was innocent enough, but it reminded Patrick that Christmas had arrived. 

Today was December 22nd. Patrick should be in Maine right now getting ready to enjoy the holidays with his parents, sister, brother-in-law, and nephews. 

But no, he had elected to stay in frigid Denver for the holidays. Jeremy’s wedding had been the driving factor. Trust Jeremy to pick a highly inconvenient time to tie the knot. 

Originally, when thinking through his plans, it seemed like it would be too much to try to fly across the U.S. two days before Christmas. And besides that, Christmas had the audacity to hit on a Tuesday—super inconvenient for someone who couldn’t take more than a couple of days off work.

At the time, he figured it would be simple to just hang out with friends for a few days over Christmas and actually enjoy some rest instead of fighting his way through crowded airports, eating junk food, and risking weather delays during his few precious days of vacation. 

But right now, as the red glow of the stoplight changed to green, Patrick was regretting that decision. For a split second, he wondered if a ticket to Augusta could still be bought. Jeremy would be on his honeymoon in Florida. Ben had invited him over, but Patrick had heard enough of his evil mother-in-law stories that he fully intended to stay away from Ben’s house until the all clear was given on Thursday. Besides, it was always chaos at their house anymore. Gone were the days of kicking back and watching an entire Broncos game uninterrupted. 

There were other friends, of course. But most were traveling or spending time with their families. Some had invited Patrick to tag along. But he was tired of tagging along. 

So that’s why he would be alone for Christmas. Well, he and Marley would be together. Four-legged company is still company after all. 

Sunday morning Patrick willed himself to church for the late service. The sanctuary was beautifully decorated—unlike his stark house. But it just seemed to serve as another reminder that he was missing Christmas. Nevertheless, he dragged out what he could of his smile. It was still exhausted from the day before. 

“Merry Christmas!” Fellow church goers waved at him across the sanctuary. He waved and nodded. 

Mrs. Little bustled over and pushed a box into his hand that held promise of baked goods. Before he could get away, she had engulfed him in a giant hug. How he hated those squishy hugs. She was about as wide as she was tall and had a high drama personality that seemed to seesaw quickly between laughter and tears. 

Thankfully, he was saved by another acquaintance. 

“Do you have plans for Christmas?” Eric Cate asked him.

“Y-Yes.” He stammered. Not really sure what plans he was alluding to. Doing nothing, he told himself later, is a plan. 

He exchanged awkward greetings with Mrs Faber. This would be her first Christmas without her husband who had recently passed. Patrick wanted to be kind but he wasn’t good at thinking of things to say in the moment. 

As he navigated toward the exit, an idea came to him… it was something to do anyway. Patrick stopped at Home Depot. Since he purchased his home four years ago ago, the hall bath had been painted an awful, Pepto Bismol pink. It would seem that now was as good a time as any to give it a fresh coat of paint.

The momentary uplift of having a project to tackle dissolved after a few minutes of perusing the wall of paint chips. Patrick once again began to feel himself giving in to the funk that had been pecking at his emotional well being. 

Alone. He was trying to do this project alone. 

There were hundreds of colors. More than a hundred shades of the color white. Funny how little things became so big in moments like this. He did not know what to choose. He did not know who to ask. Jeremy and Anna were good with this sort of thing, but it didn’t seem like the thing to do to call friends on their honeymoon to ask what color paint to buy. 

He picked up a few colored pieces of cardstock. How hard could this be? Really. How hard is it to choose a neutral color to paint a bathroom?

But what if he didn’t like it? What if it clashed with the trim…the flooring…the other wall colors…?

This was why he was still living with Pepto-Bismol pink. In fact, this was demonstrative of why a lot of things in his life went the way they did. Thirty-two felt like a strange no man’s land between college and life. 

Determined not to be defeated by a relatively simple decision, Patrick grabbed a chip and headed toward the paint counter. 

“How can I help you?” A lovely voice asked and Patrick looked down. A cheerful reddish face was looking up at him. Her orange apron had the name “Betsy” in cute black Sharpie lettering. The “e” had been turned into a smiley face. 

“I-I’d like to buy some paint.” He heard come out of his mouth. 

“Okay. We sell paint.” She said with a laugh. “What kind do you need?”

“Uh. I don’t know.”

“What are you painting?” 

“A bathroom.”

“Okay, so interior. You probably want a satin or a semi gloss…”

Patrick felt himself being led through a series of choices. Type. Brand. Amount. Putty. Sand paper. Brushes. Rollers. Dropcloths. Soon, he was loading $120 worth of stuff into the passenger seat of his Tesla. But he had a small sense of victory. He had bought the paint. 

It was probably too much to expect two victories in one day. He did not actually intend to start putting paint on the walls. Truth be told, he had never painted a room before. He would never admit it, but he was intimidated to start. There may or may not have been a deep down hope that a secret paint fairy was going to show up in the night and apply the paint. 

But he did carry in his purchases and set them by the bathroom door. Marley was very proud of him and came bounding with his approval. Or maybe he was just anxious for a walk. 

Patrick checked his phone a dozen times. It was strangely silent. For the rest of the world, the holidays had begun. Other people were doing whatever it is they do on Christmas Eve eve. He kept fighting emotional gravity but it was hard not to feel very, very alone. 

He tried not to sound entirely pathetic when he talked to his sister and nephews a little later. But there was a slight choke in his voice that was difficult to hide. He blamed it on the brisk walk with Marley in sub zero weather. 

He checked flights again. The soonest flight he could get was tomorrow and the series of flights available would make it a 16 hour journey through Atlanta. It made no sense. 

He was stuck. The two days that had seemed like a great opportunity to rest and relax now seemed like a punishing sentence with a bathroom as a jail. 

How different life would be with a family of his own. Singleness was freedom and desolation all in one package. 

Patrick had made a few attempts in the past to find the right girl. It had felt a lot like those moments at Home Depot staring at the wall of paint chips, but with much higher stakes. 

That was then. Now, at thirty-two, there were not so many options. There was not a Home Depot for life. 

To be continued…

Posted on by lgandre

A Thrill of Hope

Melodee was not happy.

But then, she was never happy.

She could only remember tiny fragments of happiness…moments back in her Mimi and Papa’s trailer.  Christmas there had been happy.  She remembered tangled lights that she and her sisters had wrapped around a tipsy tree.  A huge meal Mimi had cooked that Melodee hadn’t eaten because she had stuffed herself with life savers, candy canes, and M&Ms.  She remembered fighting with her sisters until they broke the new radio.  She remembered insisting on wearing her new Christmas pajamas to play outside and then crying when she slipped off her scooter and ripped a hole in the pant leg.  Yep, that had been a happy Christmas.  She had been with her family…such as it was anyway.

She had blocked the Christmas’ that followed out of her mind.  She didn’t look back at the last four years that she had spent in nine different foster homes.  At first, she had made a cautious effort to be a part of each new family.  But all of those efforts had slowly diminished and finally altogether abandoned three homes ago when…well, it didn’t matter now.  All that mattered now was that she didn’t bother to get attached to these people.  The Carriers would just pass her along like every other family had. 

She turned up the music that was already blasting through her earbuds and pulled out the bag of Cheetos that she had hidden in her nightstand drawer.  She tried to be careful not to get cheese on the white bedspread…not because she’d give two rotten bananas for the bedspread, but because she didn’t want to get in trouble for having food in her room.  Again.

The door opened suddenly and Mrs. Carrier stood there holding baby Harper. 

“Hey, Melodee…” Her eyes went immediately to the bag of Cheetos and Melodee braced herself and prepared to act like she couldn’t hear above the music.  I dare you to take these away from me.  She didn’t speak the words, but she yelled them with her eyes.

Mrs. Carrier stood and waited until finally Melodee pulled out an earbud.  “Hey, Melodee, I wondered if you could hold Harper for me for a few minutes.  She is a bit fussy and I’m trying to get dinner in the oven in time for company tonight.”  Melodee had been reminded two thousand times that some old family friends had just moved back into the area and they were coming over for dinner tonight.  Mrs. Carrier acted like it was the event of the century.  Frankly, Melodee didn’t give two rotten bananas.

Melodee rolled her eyes and tried to act inconvenienced although they both knew the truth was that Melodee loved to hold Harper.  She looked around for something she could wipe her cheesy fingers off on.  Definitely not her new Adidas hoodie. 

Harper fussed as she made the transition to Melodee; but Melodee followed Miss Carrier to the kitchen because she knew she had the best chance of a happy baby if Momma was within her sight lines. 

Byron, the Carrier’s obnoxious preschooler, was sitting quietly at a train table in the living room building and rebuilding a long wooden track.  “Watch, Melodee!”  He called happily.  Okay, so he wasn’t really obnoxious.  He was more “obnoxiously good.”  But there are a lot of ways that people can be obnoxious and maybe Melodee happened to not like four-year olds that would sit and play with a train when they were told to.  

Besides, it wasn’t fair.  Byron’s life was everything hers wasn’t.  Melodee had this unexplainable need to make sure that Byron’s life wasn’t perfect and that his parents knew that he wasn’t perfect.

Read the rest of this stories and many other family stories by purchasing the ebook or paperback…”Christmas Candles“